Matt and I had a tricky decision to make recently: hang out with our college roommates for one more night while they visit and before many of them move far away (some even to Africa for 6 months) OR go to our pastor's vow renewal ceremony. It was one of those obvious choices, but still one that had a great opportunity cost. But after attending the rededication it was clear that this was an evening that forever changed the way we both looked at love, marriage, and the church community as a whole.
Because this was much more than a party to celebrate their 13 years of marriage, it was a gathering that was something that they had been looking forward to for years. You see, years ago, Adriane had Leukemia. And the party was to celebrate her life and the fact that she has been cancer free for five years. Which in the medical community means that she is officially cured since the chances of it returning are the same as you or I being diagnosed.
Watching our friend Travis, the very same person who married Matt and I 3 years ago look at the bride of his youth was perhaps one of the biggest challenges and blessings to our marriage. She was beautiful. Not because of her ivory dress or because of the flowers in her hair, but because she shone with God's love and hope while she sat in those hospital rooms years ago. Because even in her physical weakness, she brought the strength that he needed and the confidence that our church community needed during those dark times.
After their short ceremony, Travis invited us inside to watch a video that he has been painstakingly putting together over the past several months. It had pictures of Adriane as a child, a college student, a girlfriend, a bride, and a mother. It had interviews of their close friends recalling the time when the diagnosis hang heavy in the air. It had a video of their family going to the beach and burning all the paperwork associated with the disease that was so critical to keep five years ago. And it ended with Travis speaking on camera to his bride and his wife and his best friend. He explained to her for the first time that every time he drove to and from her hospital room he would listen to one of her favorite songs "Lady in Red." A song that she had wanted to dance to at their wedding but decided not to since it is about a man in love with his wife of many years. He confessed that he listened to it every time but never let himself finish it. He was waiting to finish it while they danced when she was healthy again. And he ended by asking her to dance with him.
Driving home that night Matt and I talked about what a real marriage should look like, and how beautiful God created it to be. We talked about how honored we were to be there even though we are newer friends. About the church when it is seen at its best. About love.
As we pulled into the drive, I saw my best college girlfriends sitting around our dining table talking, laughing, and looking at each other with discerning eyes that only come with time well spent listening and watching each other's lives. I sat down with them and cried tears of joy, sadness, and hope. And they cried with me. And we laughed and smiled at each other and repeated how much we love LOVE.
